Addiction! Taming the Sexual Beast!

By : David Roppo

Why is it that some people can participate in normal sexual activity, yet others become addicted to it?

Well, first let's take a look at some of the various types of sexual addictions:

Compulsive masturbation:

--accompanied by mental images or thoughts about sex, or while viewing sexual images on the TV or computer screen or while looking at pornographic publications (or even while looking at non-sexual material, such as underwear or swim wear ads).

Compulsive sex with prostitutes:

--this can be with female or male prostitutes or transvestites (transvestites are usually men dressed as sexy women) at their place of business or dispatched to your location or picked up on the street.

Repeated anonymous sex--"one night stands":

with people picked up at bars, or sex with strangers in parks or restrooms, or sex in any number of anonymous situations, where sex is the object and no relationship is established with the person.

Frequent phone sex:

--using the phone to exchange live erotic conversations with another willing participant, while physically stimulating oneself along the lines of what is being discussed, to create the illusion of experiencing these sex acts with the other person (without the effort or risk involved in an actual encounter).

Multiple affairs outside a committed relationship, or serial relationships one after the other:

Frequent patronizing of topless bars, modeling studios, sexually-oriented tanning salons, adult bookstores or sexual massage establishments.

Habitual exhibitionism:

--exposing one's private body parts to unsuspecting onlookers, either directly (by removing or opening clothing) or indirectly through skimpy or revealing clothing. An example is the man who sits in his car with his fly unzipped and begins masturbating when someone appealing to him walks by.

Habitual voyeurism--the so-called "peeping Tom,":

who finds sexual excitement by taking forbidden secret looks into other people's privacy. Examples are: looking into a neighbor's bathroom or bedroom window in hopes of seeing someone disrobed, peering up shorts or skirts on the sly, or looking through "glory holes" in restroom walls (strategically located holes in walls separating urinal or toilet stalls).

Inappropriate sexual touching:

-touching someone for sexual excitement in a manner that appears accidental, such as "accidentally" brushing up against another person's breast or genitals in a crowd, or maneuvering one's leg to rest "innocently" against someone else's leg under a table or in a theater.

So, what cause someone to become sexual addicted and to partake in the acts described above?

Generally speaking, these compulsions are driven by emotional trauma that has been rooted in childhood. Family dysfunction creates fears, insecurities and low self-esteem which is the fundamental factor in driving one's behavior. In some circumstances people search for and seek out others to have sex with to deaden the pain of their own emotional trauma. To others a low level of Self-esteem perpetuates meaningless and dangerous sexual activity because of a lack of self-merit or respect. As with all addictions a high level of Self-Esteem and Coping skills is the key to restoring normal behavior and restoring true sexuality. This can be achieved by learning to forgive yourself and by tapping into your own true personal power. Steps 3 and 4 of the 5steps to addiction freedom address specifically how to accomplish this.

Best wishes,